Well, I'm 10 days away from Mitchell's due date and this little boy is certainly giving me a lesson in patience. I know the due date is there for a reason, and it's reasonable to assume that he might not come until then, but it's been a rough couple of weeks for me and I'd certainly hoped he might decide to make an early appearance (and of course, he still might)!
I've been having lots of false labor symptoms - contractions, cramping, etc - that have left me a bit confused and I'll admit, a lot frustrated! Several days I've gotten almost ready to say "OK, let's go to the hospital, I think this might be happening" when the symptoms just stop altogether. On Sunday that happened twice! It does get your hopes up.
I had a mini-breakdown on Tuesday after I saw the doctor and was told that nothing had really changed - I am still dilated about the same as I have been the last two weeks, despite all that activity. For some reason that day I took all of this as "bad" news and was so upset. I haven't really been that emotional during this pregnancy, which surprises me somewhat, but I certainly was that day. It felt like I'd been told that I was never going to have my baby and that I was going to have to stay this miserably, hugely pregnant forever.
However, once I got out of my emotional funk, I started thinking and was reminded at how lucky we've been that I've had a totally normal, even boring, pregnancy. How amazing that is! I should be giving thanks for the blessing it is that I've been able to provide my son with a stable, comfortable home for the last 38 weeks and he's still thriving and growing inside me even now. So many people that I know have had scary or difficult pregnancies, not to mention my friends that have struggled to even get pregnant. So, I've decided to adopt a positive attitude for the rest of this pregnancy, no matter how long that is, and to appreciate the gift that we have been given in this tiny little boy that we are so eager to meet.
I know this this test of my patience is only a warm-up for the challenges of motherhood, but I'm thankful for the reminder that becoming parents is about putting this baby's needs above your own and practicing selflessness, and yes, patience everyday.